Harmless

With my heart on my heart and my heart in my mouth

With arms that could reach o'er the sea

My feet might be big, but the insects are safe

They'll never get stood on by me

Harmless, harmless

With never no bother from me

I go to the library, take out a book

Then I come home for my tea

I save all the coupons that come with the soup

When I have saved fifty-three

I send away fifty, put three in the drawer

Something gets posted to me

Harmless, harmless

With never no bother from me

Do as I'm told and I tidy my room

Then I come home for my tea

There's one or two lads that I could call my chums

They're canny and meek as can be

There's Tom with his pigeons and Will with his mice

And Robert McClennan and me

Harmless, harmless

With never no bother from me

Go to the library, take out a book

Then I come home for my tea

Harmless, harmless

Never no bother from me

Nobody noticed that I wasn't there

If I didn't home for my tea