Trapped in the Closet Chapter 20

Rosie’s in her den, sittin’ in her rocking chair

Reading the Bible, and it’s so peaceful, until...

[Randolph:] “He got the package, Rosie! He got the package!”

“Secret sweet bridges, he done got the package!”

[Rosie:] “Lord have mercy, Randolph, what’s done got into you?”

“And who got the package and what is the package?”

“The package, Rosie! The big package”

“Aw hell, I ain’t got time to be playin’ with you”

(“Whaddya mean?”)

“These games and carryin’ on”

“If I wanted to play some games I’d go ahead and turn on the TV and watch me some Wheel of Fortune”

(“I wanna talk to ya, lemme tell ya!”)

“How the hell I’ma tell ya if you’re walkin’ away from me?”

“Hm? Hm? Hm”

“Well hell with it then, I ain’t gon’ tell ya nothin’”

“You must not wanna know”

“About the pastor”

“What about the pastor?”

“What? Wha-wha-wha-wha-wha-wha-what?”

“Did you hear that?”

“Did somebody round here say somethin’?”

“I thought I heard-“

“Now just quit playin’ and tell me what’s goin’ on”

“With the pastor”

“Well, now you wanna know”

“I tell ya this way better than peekin’ out them damn windows you be peekin’ out of”

“Ain’t no pigeon gon’ shit on you, you listenin’ to me?”

“Randolph!”

“Okay, okay”

“Let me calm down”

“Ooh, saa-“

“I’ma slap you with this hot water bag if you don’t start talkin’ to me”

“Alright, alright, alright”

“I’ma talk to ya”

“And I’ma tell it all”

“I was at church in the pastor’s office, cleanin’ up, and next thing you know…” [Flashes back to Rufus' office]

“Mm, yes Lord”

“Yes Lord”

“Ye-“ [Drinks his gin]

“Ooh! Yes Lord!”

“Wha-?”

[Rufus:] “I can’t talk to you about that right now, Sister Marie, I got a phone call”

“Shit, think, shit, think, shit, shit think Randolph”

“Mm”

“And that’s when I got my old ass in that closet”

“Now quit cussin’”

“Now just shut ya ass up and listen, Rosie”

“You say you wanna know”

“Then I got in that closet and it all started to happen”

“The pastor came in”

“He was on the phone talkin’ to a man”

“Now what’s wrong with bein’ on the phone talkin’ to a man?”

“Well it all depends on what you sayin’ to that man”

“Now to make a long story short, he said”

[Chuck:] “Rufus, I miss you”

“And I couldn’t believe my ears when he said”

[Rufus:] “Chuck, I miss you too”

“And then his wife comes in, starts pinchin’ the bitch”

“I normally don’t like bein’ in folk’ business, but Randolph this is some juicy shit”

“What else?”

“Anyway they arguin’ back and forth”

“Pastor Rufus start tryna convince this man to let him come see him”

“But obviously he said no”

“What else?

“Now calm down, damn it, wait a minute, let me think”

“Oh! Oh! He asked the pastor to stay in his life, but then the pastor said no”

“God must be workin’ on ‘em! Then what?”

“Pastor say ‘Chuck let’s meet at our spot, the Holiday Inn’”

“And then, that’s when”

“When what?”

“A-a-a-ah!”

“Took another shot of that gin!”

“Ooh, Randolph, this is gettin’ good”

“But what make you say ‘got the package’ though?”

“When Chuck let him know”

“Know what?”

“That he’s in the hospital!”

“He got the package”

“Didn’t I tell ya?”

“He got the package, Randolph, you was right!”

“Next time you listen to me when I’m tryna tell ya ass somethin’”’

“Oh my god, where’s my phone book?”

“Wh-what do you need a phone book before?” (“Lord have mercy”)

“Now don’t go tellin’ everyone around town, Rosie!” (“Hey, he got the package”)

“With you big mouth ass!”

“Shit”

“Should have never told her shit”

“Ooh, gin”

“Sleepy”