Shelf Life

[Verse 1]

Irie!

Yeah, you've smashed it, mate

Well trendy

Mediocrity is in the city

And there's a thousand words it wants to say to ya

Well trendy

Yeah, you've smashed it, mate

Shelf life!

[Verse 2]

Wish I could go to another poor country in the sun

Shake hands with all the locals

Buy one of those multicolored frocks, lob it on

Shelf life!

[Verse 3]

Proceed to pretend that I really like world music

Arrange a few gigs

Invite Damien Hirst and that other fat prick

Who's got an even fatter daughter

To be honеst with ya, I ain't biased

Ya both make me sick

Tracy Jacks

Shеlf life!

[Verse 4]

Well trendy

You've smashed it, mate

I'm currently wearing a trilby hat on a slant

Sat behind a Chas & Dave style piano

Singing "The Lambeth Walk" with the bass player outta the Clash

Well trendy

You've smashed it, mate

Shelf life!

[Verse 5]

Acting all smug in E4 interviews

With the bass player outta the Clash

Good move

You've smashed it, mate

Wish I had a drink problem, a Beach Boys haircut

Moaning to the Daily Mirror 'cause ya have to get up in the morning

And play a guitar for lots of money without a drink

Fuck off!

Try getting out of bed at four in the morning

With a crack problem, a cash problem, a real drink problem

Like everybody else, fucking deal with it!

Prostitutes on the stairway looking at me like a mistreated cat

I can't do anything for ya, darling, I'm sorry

I smash walls down like the Incredible Hulk

Then I'll just buy a pint and forget about it

Ya can smell the wasted energy in any pub you walk into

Blokes waiting for death with about £2.75 left

Nobody asked for this life

So don't fucking blame me if I'm not living it right

Well trendy

You've smashed it, mate

Shelf life!

[Outro]

Yeah, wish I could put money into people's bank accounts

Conduct intelligent conversation, thoughtful text messages

Mark, the only difference between you and me

Is that I have stuck my dick in it

Mark, I fed the monster, and she fed mine

You don't even know me, and yet you pass judgment

Just because you wanna stick your dick in it

Mark... Mark...

Oi, Mark, shut ya mouth!