The Harbor Is Yours

[Intro]

Reeeeeemix!

...Throw your babies in the air

[Hook: Rob Sonic]

Dead men tell no tales (Uh-huh)

Up push the daisies till the soil is stale

In a powder blue tux for the farmer's sale (Here we go)

Mr. Big sleep with the carp and kelp

[Verse: Aesop Rock]

Once upon a time in the days of yore

When the people lived fresh outta legend and folklore

There was an old pirate who piloted vile slang

Had a bird perched on him and swash buckled the same

Peg leg navigate him starboard to port

By the nautical starry night yelling "The harbor is yours!"

And you should tell them where you situate the gold

That is unless you'd like a vacation with Davy J-J-J-Jones

Like "walk the plank" for whom the shark thank

Maroon the mutineers consume the souvenirs

And while the shiny spoils piled higher every year

He was suffocating slow in the box of a buccaneer

Ten summers prior on a night like this

Crows nest scopes something afloat to the boats west

Swore it blew him a kiss

When he focus seen the face of an angel upon the body of a

F-f-f-fish

"What the heck!" frazzled, his telescope shattered

Gathered himself she was ghost he was down the rope ladder

To deck circled the vessel 360 swiftly

Found nothing in the water but salt, piss and whiskey

Yarr, heckled by the swabbies at the bar

He'll be the laughing stock of the Barbary Coast War

Like this dude either got two glass eyes

Or he wearing his patch on the wrong s-s-s-side

Now he knew what he saw

But had to prove he was raw

So he raped and he pillaged

And he feud and he brawled

Try to rekindle his rep via sabers and gun smoke

And vowed to always find her though he never told his cutthroats

(Hey!) Meanwhile, back in the now

Got a brand new skeleton crew on the move out

When they aren't manning thirty burning cannons stern and bow

They are prying shiny metals out your m-m-m-mouth

Okay, youth wanes old age holler wisdom and disease

Like the scurvy made his yellow gums bleed

And he was achy from his boots to the feather in his hat

Until his quartermaster showed up with a stolen treasure map

One look down and lept off the dock

See if you can guess where X marked the spot

The capital was buried at sea in a cursed cave

Only one mile from where he'd seen the mer-mer-mer-maid

Anchors up, hoist the jolly roger thank you much

Day and night with his hook hands raised and clutched

But see the vitamin deficiency was strong

So by the time they bumped into the island he could barely lift his grog

Crawled off the boat, collapsed in the sand

Prayers in the air, seashells in his hand

And nary a high tide so grand as the one that put

The lady of the lake on dry la-la-la-land

I wish I could tell you that it ended happy

Pretend like his bones weren't practically snapping

Pretend like her gills didn't dry up and suffer

But that's a half-dead pirate and a fish outta water

No lie, scout's honor, got a million more

From the burgundy lighting above the shores of whores

Before your visions of grandeur go to swell those sails

Remember dead men tell no t-t-t-tales

[Hook: Rob Sonic]

Dead men tell no tales (Uh-huh)

Up push the daisies till the soil is stale

In a powder blue tux for the farmer's sale (Here we go)

Mr. Big sleep with the carp and kelp

[Outro: Aesop Rock]

Dead men tell no tales

Dead men tell no tales

Dead men tell no tales