This Grudge (Vancouver Sessions)

[Verse 1]

Fourteen years, thirty minutes

Fifteen seconds I've held this grudge

Eleven songs, four full journals

Thoughts of punishment I've expended

[Verse 2]

Not in contact, not a letter

Such communication, telepathic

You've been vilified, used as fodder

You deserve a piece of every record

[Pre-Chorus 1]

But who's it hurting now?

Who's the one that's stuck?

And who's it torturing now

With an antique knot in her stomach?

[Chorus]

I wanna be big and let go

Of this grudge that's grown old

All this time I've not known

How to rest this bygone

I wanna be soft and resolved

Clean of slate and released

I wanna forgive for the both of us

[Verse 3]

Like an abandoned house, dusty covered

Furniture, still intact

If I visit it now, do I simply re-live it?

Somehow gratuitous

[Pre-Chorus 2]

But who's still aching now?

Who's tired of her own voice?

Who is it weighing down

With no gift from time of said healing?

[Chorus]

I wanna be big and let go

Of this grudge that's grown old

All this time I've not known

How to rest this bygone

I wanna be soft and resolved

Clean of slate and released

I wanna forgive for the both of us

[Bridge]

Maybe as I cut the cord

Veils will lift from my eyes

Maybe as I lay this to rest

Dead weight off my shoulders to rise

[Verse 4]

Here I sit much determined

Ever ill-equipped to draw this curtain

How this has entertained, validated

And has served me greatly, ever the victim

[Pre-Chorus 3]

But who's done whining now?

Who's ready to put down?

This load I've carried longer

Than I had cared to remember

[Chorus]

I wanna be big and let go

Of this grudge that's grown old

All this time I've not known

How to rest this bygone

I wanna be soft and resolved

Clean of slate and released

I wanna forgive for the both of us

I wanna be big and let go

Of this grudge that's grown old

For the life of me I've not known

How to rest this bygone

I wanna be soft and resolved

Clean of slate and released

I wanna forgive for the both of us