Face the Blade

I'm always ready for what's never coming
Can you really fault me for looking forward to the end?
Pressing your lips to a poisoned well
But it's too soon to tell
You can't take advantage if I don't let you in
Seeking redemption
Through practiced mercy
Understanding the part I play in your story
A sharpened end slips under my ribs
The price to be paid when you face the blade
How long have I kept you
At arm's length?
A world too distant
To ever lose myself again
The fear produced by power unused
Paralyzed by what's inside
Disappointing enough for the both of us
Too overwhelmed to make a difference
My insides spill onto the pavement
Mimicking a field of orchids
A beautiful arrangement
The kind you wouldn't believe if you hadn't seen it
No feeling is permanent
Change is mine to have should I choose it
But before these choices can be made I have to face the blade
What else do you want from me?
Your affection feels like vengeance