Hurt Myself

I can't make you pray for me now
Don't need your sympathy, I
Just want the love that I deserve when
All I do is hurt myself

And I've been tryin' to hide, but I know it's just a matter of time until I break down
All the stress that I hold too much weight now
Got the pills I don't really wanna take
But it feels like I walk in the devil's playground
Rain clouds in the head too often
Brain-dead in the bed that's a coffin
Havin' thoughts of the head blown off every time that I close my eyes, no stop it

I don't think that anyone gets it
So I don't wanna tell anybody what really goin' on in my head
I just wanna be alone and listen to the music and let it tell me the way I need to feel
So I don't think I'm defective
It's getting worse every day that'll pass
Getting too high, give its way for the crash
Started when I met my dad, and then he left again
Abandonment, the only thing I expect and can't dream

When I'm in a nightmare
Everything goes wrong, what do I care?
Tryin' to grab happiness, 'cause it's right there
But it slips through the grip, and it's gone in an instant, a misfit
Insisting on always tryin' to fit in
Got a need for the love but for me, I don't give shit
Enemies wanna see me fall, I feel like I'm at the last resort, 'bout to give in

The churches start to feel like prison cells
'Cause everybody'd rather judge than help
I can't make you pray for me now
Don't need your sympathy, I
Just want the love that I deserve when
All I do is Hurt Myself

Tell me I'm okay
Tell me this is life, and it'll all work out in the long run
If it's not true, lie to me
'Cause I need some hope to help me out when the heart's shut
Detached I barely feel alive
Tell me this is all worth the pain and time
I've been slippin' now, barely got the grip
Where is all the friends who said they would stick by me?

Look into the eyes, see, right into the soul weighed down so heavy
But I'm highly emotional
But never vulnerable the bandwidth too much 'bout to overload
The overdose and no one close when I got something inside, I really hate
And wanna cut and let it bleed out
Hard to let in the light, when there's a critic inside, that won't stop speaking up
Bringing me down

The feeling like I'm in a battle with two different people inside of me
The ones who been trying to hold me together is not the one who's in the driver's seat
I've got this need to escape to the point where I'm sick of my fucking sobriety
Losing my footing, and I wish somebody would tell me that I'll be okay if I try to be

The churches start to feel like prison cells
'Cause everybody'd rather judge than help
I can't make you pray for me now
Don't need your sympathy, I
Just want the love that I deserve when
All I do is hurt myself

Pray for me now
Don't need your sympathy, I
Just want the love that I deserve when
All I do is hurt myself