What Does a Woman See in a Man

[Verse 1]

He stinks to high heaven, half covered with hair

And grunts like some old orangutan

While she smells of clean skin and a taste of jasmine

And speaks like a first rate librarian

His stomach hangs out, there's a hump on his back

And he eats like Conan the Barbarian

While she keeps herself trim, and her posture is prim

And her manners quite cosmopolitan

He laughs like a donkey and he falls into bed

And flips cigarettes in the can

But she'll always act nice, with no visible vice

Tell me, what does a woman see in a man?

[Verse 2]

He hangs out in bars and he tells stupid jokes

And seems to think he's a comedian

But she's clever and polite, stays sober all night

And sips on her one Presbyterian

He drives a gas hog like Attila the Hun

And woe to the luckless pedestrian

While she prefers bikes and bird-watching hikes

And sailing and riding equestrian

He's got a name like Duane or Leroy

Hers is Vanessa or Anne

Hers sounds like a song but Duane is all wrong

Tell me, what does a woman see in a man?

[Bridge]

Doesn't she know that she's unique

Doesn't she see that he's just a freak of nature

Overbearing, insecure

Wanting love but so unsure

Loving her because she's pure

[Verse 3]

Yet, dreaming of orgies in Vegas or Cannes

He preens and strikes poses Olympian

She shoulders the cross and lets him play boss

His nurse and long-suffering Samaritan

He brags about knocking the world on its ass

But oh, when it hits the fan

She'll bail him out, of that there's no doubt

She holds the secret of life in her hand

What does a woman see (What does a woman see)

In a man?