Comprehensive Evaluation (Skit)

[Joyner's Doctor]

Hey buddy, come in and have a seat

Your mom told me you didn't want to come in and see me today because of our last conversation

And I apologize, buddy, I really do

I shouldn't have lashed out like that

I was out of character

I mean, you're only eight years old

And I had no business talking to you that way

So I wanted to extend a very sincere apology to you

You think we can be friends and get over this?

[Child Joyner]

I guess so

[Joyner's Doctor]

That-a-boy

And I promise, from this day forward

That if you don't act like a little fucking retard and piss me off again

I won't lash out like that

There's consequences for everything, Joyner

You act like a little prick, you get the mean doctor you don't wanna see

It's that simple

Now, mom tells me you don't really like the prescription I gave you

[Child Joyner]

Not really

[Joyner's Doctor]

Well, what if I told you that I have a prescription that you can't get at the pharmacy?

[Child Joyner]

Like what?

[Joyner's Doctor]

You ever used cocaine, Joyner?

[Child Joyner]

What's that?

[Joyner's Doctor]

How about lean?

[Child Joyner]

I never heard of it

[Joyner's Doctor]

Give me your backpack

[Child Joyner]

Why?

[Joyner's Doctor]

I'm going to put a few things in there for you

And I guarantee this will take all your ADHD away for good

How's that sound?

[Child Joyner]

Um

[Joyner's Doctor]

It'll be our little secret

[Child Joyner]

I'm not sure about this

[Joyner's Doctor]

Don't tell mom

If you do, no more treatment for you