Porn Does Good

[Intro, Spoken]

Hello, everybody!  Um, this is Marina.  I just learned to play three chords on my new, um, baby pink ukulele.  I play like a child. Don't care, 'cause it's helped me write a wonderful song, um, called Porn Does Good.  It's about people never admitting to, um, watching porn, girls and boys.  Maybe some of you haven't.  Maybe some of you have!  So, whether you have or haven't, um, I reckon you should learn this song and walk down the street and sing it out loud with pride.  Um, uh... [laughs]  And, um, yeah. I would love if you did that and I would even love it if you video'd it and sent it to me. [laughs]

Um, because I don’t think anyone would actually do that

[Verse 1]

I'd rather go home and watch pornography alone

I've got a big collection, a really huge selection

And if I'm really desperate, I'll call my ex up

And have sex on the phone

It beats orgasming alone

[Chorus]

Porn is good for the soul

But it doesn't leave you feeling very whole

Unless you own a good dildo

But then I bet you think I'm a ho

[Verse 2]

Sex is a drug, so throw me a bone

It's so innocent, that's why I always go home alone

'Cause I'm feeling ashamed that I feel like a boy

Oh, women are meant to act coy

That's why we've bought all these toys

[Chorus]

Porn is good for the soul

But it doesn't always leave you feeling whole

Unless you own a good dildo

But then you'll all think I'm a ho

[Outro]

I don't care

I don't care

I don't care