MILK

I ain't the same nigga that I once was
I lost my fuckin' mind and then I fell in love
I did a bunch of drugs, because I couldn't sleep
I lost a couple months, I chipped my fuckin' teeth
And there's a couple women, and they know some things
About lies that I done told and shit that I done said
And niggas that I robbed, so I'm real paranoid
I have voices in my head

Hi, my name is Merlyn, I just applied for food stamps
I just moved to California, with my boy band
Dropped out of a good school, hippies in my commune
I left 'fore the rent was due, used to want a briefcase
And a short commute, used to wanna sell coke
And whip an Audi coupe, crazy if I did that
Wouldn't be talkin' to you
Walkin' through the pit falls of a college student
Crazy how you get them letters and that make you feel accepted
'Til you walkin' 'round the campus and you the only African
Nobody with passion, just cats that take direction well
Take acid trips to find themselves, well...

I gotta get better at bein' me
(Bein' who I am)
I gotta get better at everything
(Bein' who I am)
I just want a friend that I can hang out with

(Bein' who I am)
Someone I can sit around, lay on my couch with

(Bein' who I am)

Ever since I moved out, I've been broke
Ever since I grew up, I've been ugly
Ooh, I need get me some dollar, dollar, dollar bills, y'all
Ever since I left my momma house, I've been mad as hell at the world

Sometimes you don't gotta rhyme when you feel it
Sometimes I barely ever feel a fuckin' thang
Sometimes I wish that my fuckin' phone would fuckin' ring
And go off, and wake a nigga up
I'm used to bein' sad and I'm used to bein' down
I'm used to bein' used, I miss my boy bein' around

I gotta get better at bein' me
(Bein' who I am)
I gotta get better at everything
(Bein' who I am)
I just want a friend that I can hang out with
(Bein' who I am)

Someone I can sit around, lay on my couch with
(Bein' who I am)

Droppin' all I got on this one day
I just wanna be somebody someday
Droppin' all I got on this one way
I just wanna be somebody someday
Droppin' all I got on this one day

I just wanna be somebody someday
Droppin' all I got on this one way
I just wanna be somebody someday

I gotta get better at bein' me
(Bein' who I am)
I gotta get better at everything

(Bein' who I am)

I just want a friend that I can hang out with
(Bein' who I am)
Someone I can sit around, lay on my couch with
(Bein' who I am)

I'm tryin' to look for motivation of smaller things
But baby steps to my atonement, when I foster dreams
I've been told I'm too transparent with my thoughts sometimes

So I wrote songs until they pass, and I can fall in line
I fell apart the moment that you thought you found yourself
'Cause I knew at that point, I couldn't be in the equation anymore
But movin' on with open, broken hearts
Will show you everything you need to see
About yourself to start movin' forward
So many things I wanna say that I'm not sure need to be known
But everybody swears they fuckin' know me
So why, don't I lay every card I'm holdin' on the table?
At that point I wonder what they'd show me
I almost lost my father, still surreal for me to think about
Considerin' how many of my friends have lost theirs
I never know if what I'm sayin' is the right thing
If not, I'm ready more than ever for the crosshairs
It's all fair when it's not you
Some people have angels, what if only shadows follow you?
And all the ghosts inside that seem to hollow you
The branches of the weepin' willow start to swallow you
And then you realize you're exactly where you're supposed to be
The horizon clears, you wipe the tears
And all the skeletons are ready for your story