Chapter XIV: Road Trip

(Mr. Saltarian and Papa Emeritus IV are in the car. Papa lifts up his buttcheeks and farts loudly.)

[Mr. Saltarian]

Ugh.

(The car stops at the side of the road to air out the smell)

[Papa Emeritus IV]

Woo!

I'm really sorry. I really am.

(The team is back in the car. In the car is also Papa Nil and Sister Imperator)

[Sister Imperator]

Now that we're all here I thought it would be nice... How about playing a game? I know, let's play the band game.

[Papa Emeritus IV]

I love that!

[Sister Imperator]

Oh, good

[Papa Emeritus IV]

I love it.

[Sister Imperator]

Alright. I'll go, I'll go first.

[Papa Emeritus IV]

Yes.

[Sister Imperator]

Mmm... The Beatles!

[Papa Emeritus IV]

Uuh, "S"... Salt-n-Pepa. Doin', Pops?

[Papa Nil]

ABBA.

[Sister Imperator]

Ooh. Mm. Aerosmith.

[Papa Emeritus IV]

(Tastes the "H") That's "H"...

[Sister Imperator]

Mhm.

[Papa Emeritus IV]

Uh, ah, "H"-... Hendrix, Jimmy Hendrix! Yeah.

[Sister Imperator]

Yes, well donе.

[Papa Emeritus IV]

Salty? Wanna take that one?

[Mr. Saltarian]

X.

[Papa Emeritus IV]

Yes, "X".

[Mr. Saltarian]

I mеan the band X.

[Papa Emeritus IV]

Oh, okay. Well, cool cool.

[Sister Imperator]

(Stutters) Oh. Executioner.

(To Papa Nil) Now roll the other way...

(Papa Nil farts loudly and the cars stops at the side of the road to air it out)

[Papa Emeritus IV]

Ugh. How is this even possible? I don't understand. There should be nothing coming out of you, you're a ghost. And still, you soil the car, lowering the value of it.

Okay (Clap hands) everyone, let's go. Let's go. Come on.

(The road trip continues. There is a short round of huffing as the car still smells)

[Sister Imperator]

You know, I think it's very important that we all know how valuable this success is. Our success has been remarkable.

[Papa Emeritus IV]

Yes.

[Sister Imperator]

Especially yours (Pats Papa IV on the shoulder)

[Papa Emeritus IV]

Well, well thank you. Thank you. Well, it's a... I mean it's a team effort after all.

[Papa Nil]

Wait, wait, wait. I've heard a way that my songs are trending on TikToks.

[Papa Emeritus IV]

It's one song. One song is doing well. That's true man. Old man you-you-you're definitely sharting.

(Sister Imperator chuckles)

[Papa Nil]

Well, maybe they should be playing more of my songs. Then we wouldn't have to be driving around in this piece of shit. We could drive around in a Tesla.

[Papa Emeritus IV]

Wha... "Piece of shit"... Tesla? I mean, you know what I'm seeing from where I'm sitting? Here on the floor in front of me? I see your Teslaticles, heh. That's what I see.

(Sister Imperator chuckles)

[Mr. Saltarian]

Alright, alright enough of that.

Number one - you need to focus on the here and now. Like driving this car.

Number two - don't even go there.

And number three - the shows are scheduled. I know when your time is up

[Papa Emeritus IV]

Yep, yep, yep.

That's a proper buzzkill.

[Papa Nil]

Heh.

When do we get to Mr. Saltarian's house? It stinks in here, I think I want to take a dip. It's a little ripe.

[Papa Emeritus IV]

Yeah. Good idea.

[Sister Imperator]

Yeah.