My Greatest Fear Is Splendid (Feat. Keith Buckley)

(feat. Keith Buckley)

[Verse 1 - Max Bemis:]

My greatest fear is a splendid thing

It's an image of a middle-aged me with an earring

Playing shows to an empty bar

While the bottle waits grinning by the shadow of a pop star

My girlfriend is a stripper named Steve

Lost Sherri though I begged, "Don't leave"

And she left for Italy with Johnny Depp

He swooped in quick on his jet when she left

And oh God, I'm smoking whatever they put in front of me

Three hundred pounds with a swollen frown

Mumbling verses, just swimming through the ground

[Chorus:]

I invite you to dethrone me, you've all had enough of me

Had enough of me, had enough of me

Your eyes do a 180, you will turn away from me

Put your spear in me, put the fear in me

[Verse 2 - Max Bemis:]

Old magazine by the Bemis toilet

Strategically placed for those who don't know yet

That I thought I'd be the next Billie Joe

But my attempt to emulate him was thwarted by my ego

The Twins are long gone, Parker ain't rung yet

Adam driven back to the arms of a Beckett

I'm a piss poor father so Lucy don't call

My baby don't call; she never calls at all

Oh gosh, I'm drinking like every man in my bloodline

Chris found me in a puddle of brine

I said, "Don't worry, Conley. Swear I'm fine."

[Chorus]

[Bridge - Keith Buckley:]

They say good things only happen to good people

Well, I guess that's why I worry

It's only a fear. It's only a premonition, dear

Slowing down, I'm in no hurry

[Max Bemis:]

"Jesus, dude! You smell like curry."

[Chorus]

[Outro - Max Bemis:]

Now I see you've had enough of me

Enough of me, enough of me