TMZ

[Verse 1: "Weird Al" Yankovic]

You're sort of famous, a minor celebrity

And so it only makes sense the world would be

Obsessed with every single thing you do

They're running 'round with their camcorders in the night

They're lurking patiently and hoping that they just might

See something real embarrassing you do

[Pre-Chorus: "Weird Al" Yankovic]

The bad hair day and sweat-stained t-shirt

That's the story that they're gonna feature

With exclusive pics of your flabby behind

You think you're all alone, but that's right when you'll find

[Chorus: "Weird Al" Yankovic]

A bunch of paparazzi popping out of nowhere

Cameras in your face, and then suddenly

You're on TMZ, you're on TMZ

[Verse 2: "Weird Al" Yankovic]

Following you when you're walking down the street

And asking stupid questions while you're trying to eat

So you cover your face, thinking to yourself

"Hey, isn't this creepy?"

And they're out there praying you'll have a big meltdown

And take 'em on a little car chase through this whole town

They'll be there with you when you're going to jail

First on the scene for every wardrobe fail

[Pre-Chorus: "Weird Al" Yankovic]

You just picked up some transvestite

Seconds later, it's up on the website

Get a Vegas wedding, a quickie divorce

And they'll be sneaking in, snapping pictures, of course

[Chorus: "Weird Al" Yankovic]

And if they ever catch you picking your nose

Or stumblin' down the street on a drunken spree

You're on TMZ

Stalking you, just waiting by your front door

Trailing you through airport security

They're with TMZ, they're with TMZ

[Skit: Tom Kenny]

"We caught this Oscar nominee picking up dog poop!"

"Is that a baby bump?"

"I pronounce you guilty... of leaving the house while fat!"

"Look who's drinking coffee!"

"Everything celebrities do is fascinating!"

[Bridge: "Weird Al" Yankovic]

Oh, let me tell you

It's getting to the point where a famous person can't

Even get a DUI or go on a racist rant

Those guys are all around, so you really shouldn't dare

Go to every club in town if you've lost your underwear

[Chorus: "Weird Al" Yankovic]

Seems that every single time a star decides to

Shave their head or ram their car into a tree

They're on TMZ

If they catch you peeing in the bushes

Later on that night, well, I guarantee

You're on TMZ, you're on TMZ

[Outro: "Weird Al" Yankovic]

You're on TMZ

Every single celebrity knows they're gonna be

There on TMZ