Confessions Part III

[Intro]

Watch this...

[Hook]

These are my confessions

Just when I thought I said all I can say

I came up with more secrets to tell you today

These are my confessions

Slipped my mind the last two times, silly me

So now I gotta give you Part Three of my confessions

First I told you 'bout the skank that I was cheatin' wit' (Wit')

Then I mentioned she's having my kid

That's not all, no, I recall more, you see

So I give you Part Three of my confessions

[Verse 1]

Now this gon' be the hardest thing I think I ever had to do

Gonna tell you everything I left out of parts one and two

Like remember when I told you that I knew Pauly Shore, Pauly Shore?

That's a lie, I don't know what I said that for

I borrowed your Chapstick (from you) without asking

Oh, and I tried out your nose-hair trimmer, too

And, by the way, your diamond ring is cubic zirconium

I killed your goldfish accidentally, just replaced it with another one

[Hook]

These are my confessions

Just when I thought I said all I can say

I need to get some things off my chest right away

These are my confessions

Slipped my mind the last two times, silly me

I guess I gotta give you Part Three of my confessions

Threw up on your dog last time I had too much to drink

There've been times when I peed in your sink

Don't know why, but you and I should agree

That belongs in Part Three of my confessions

[Verse 2]

Baby, forgive me, I'm still trying to figure out

Why I used your toothbrush to clean off the bathroom grout

Oh, and sometimes, in private

Really like to dress up like Shirley Temple and spank myself with a hockey stick, hockey stick

My boss thinks I'm a jerk, didn't get that raise

I haven't changed my underwear in 27 days

And when I'm kissing you, I fantasize you're a midget

I'm so sorry Debbie, I mean, Bridget

[Hook]

These are my confessions

Just when I thought I said all I can say

I got a few more secrets I'd like to convey (Got a few more, oh I)

These are my confessions

Slipped my mind (My mind, my mind) the last two times, silly me

(Silly me, uh!)

I guess I gotta give you Part Three of my confessions

Gave you buttered toast I dropped and picked up off the floor

FYI, it was not a cold sore (Not a cold sore)

(Hope you're not sore at me)

Oops my bad, but you'll be madder at me

When I finish Part Three of my confessions

(Even more to tell you, baby)

[Spoken]

You don't know how hard it is for me to tell you this. But you remember that shirt you got me for my birthday? Well, I returned it for store credit. That thing was hideous. What were you thinking? Oh by the way, I wasn't really sick last week. I just didn't want to go to your stupid office picnic. Oh, and when I told you at breakfast we were all out of Rice Krispies, what I meant was, there was only enough left for me. Sorry

[Hook]

These are my confessions

Just when I thought I said all I can say

I thought of some more things that should scare you away

These are my confessions

Slipped my mind the last two times, silly me

I guess I gotta give you Part Three of my confessions

Once I blew my nose, and then I wiped it on your cat (Cat)

And I lied, yes, that dress makes you look fat

Anyway, I shouldn't say any more

'Til I give you Part Four of my confessions

[Outro]

I mean, I'm just getting started here. I'm not even halfway down the list. This thing could go on for... Hey hey, where are you goin'? Honey? What? Was it something I said? Ugh... Women...