Tig Ol' Bitties

It was the first day back to school
Cuttin' up in class, actin' like a tool
Friends were rollin' in, we started talkin' about the summer
Deejay saw Twilight, "Bummer!"
I spoke up, and I asked my friends
"Are there any new girls? 9's or 10's?"
Hopin' a few hotties had moved from other cities
And in walked this girl with tig ol' bitties
Woo, I can't believe my eyes
In a contest, they'd win first prize
Double-D guarantee, I was checkin' their size
It's like two beach balls in a shirt disguise
Or Earth and Mars having some fun
Wait, I take that back it's like two of the Sun
But at this point I let my mind run
And drifted off thinking about them tig ol' bitties

Tig ol' bitties, Mt. Fuji brought it's twin
Tig ol' bitties, two melons in a shirt
Tig ol' bitties (Tig ol' bitties)
I put books in my lap
Tig ol' bitties, head bobbing as she walks
Tig ol' bitties
Oh my god!
Tig ol' bitties

Tig ol' bitties
T-t-t-t-t-tig ol' bitties
T-t-t-t-t-tig ol' bitties
T-t-t-t-t-tig ol' bitties
Tig ol' bitties
T-t-t-t-t-tig ol' bitties
T-t-t-t-t-tig ol' bitties
T-t-t-t-t-tig ol' bitties
Tig ol' bitties

Kept trippin' in class 'cause of her dang breasts
In a tiny white shirt, boobs having a fiesta
Later in lab, we were messin' with test tubes
Couldn't take my eyes off the new girl's chest
Boobs!

Wasn't paying attention
Got busted, had to serve detention
In biology we talked about the bees, the best kind of bees
Boobies!
Woo, I can't believe my mind
I hold a poker face to her two of a kind
With each step her breasts gettin' redefined
I'm making my move, I'm thinking it's time
Oh snap!
I'm gonna ask her to prom
And in my head she responds, "You're the bomb!"
Feeling nervous, so I count to three
"I like your boobs, go to prom with me?"

Tig ol' bitties, King Kong boobs
Tig ol' bitties, great tracks of land
Tig ol' bitties (Tig ol' bitties)
Like my balls
Tig ol' bitties, real big
Tig ol' bitties, oh my god
Tig ol' bitties

Tig ol' bitties
T-t-t-t-t-tig ol' bitties
T-t-t-t-t-tig ol' bitties
T-t-t-t-t-tig ol' bitties
Tig ol' bitties
T-t-t-t-t-tig ol' bitties
T-t-t-t-t-tig ol' bitties
T-t-t-t-t-tig ol' bitties
Tig ol' bitties

She said yes, so I'm getting ready
Stain on my shirt, Mom's spaghetti
I pick her up and I'm pretty sure
That she'll let me motorboat like

I try to cop a feel once we get to school
She said, "No touching, that's the rule"
Principal walks up on the scene
"It's time to announce prom king and queen
Your Favorite Martian and Tig Ol' Bitties
Congratulations to you both on winning"

Time slowed down and she jumped for joy
Then out of her dress jumped something more
Tissues flew and rained from the sky
"Oh my god! You stuff your shirt?"
Your Favorite Martian in a world of hurt
Aw, fake ol' bitties
Wow, fake ol' bitties
You're breaking my heart with fake ol' bitties
You're crushing my dreams with fake ol' bitties
(Fake ol' bitties)
I can't believe it, fake ol' bitties
You really suck, fake ol' bitties
I can't believe you would do that, fake ol' bitties
(Fake ol' bitties)

Why would you do that when you're just trying to get everyone's attention?
Those aren't boobs, they're lies!
Lies, I tell you!
But you know, I'm still down to make out if you
If you want to, want to come back with me
You know what? Never mind
(Where them tig ol' bitties at?)