I'm Not Okay

Tonight the monsters in my head
Are screaming so damn loud
But I built walls so high
So they never even make a sound

It's a mask, it's a lie
It's the only home I've ever known
'Cause being who I really am
Has only left me more alone

I am not okay
And I need you to see it
I have so much to say
And no one to hear it
The reason I keep quiet
With so much at stake
I always feel like a burden, let it silence me
You'll never understand
Why it's so hard to say
I'm not okay

I wish I had a scar
Had a bruise on the surface, any kind of proof
That everything I feel is more than just some sad excuse

My life's invisible abuse
I'm either judged or have to hide
The only symptom you can see
Is I don't wanna be alive

I am not okay
And I need you to see it
I have so much to say
And no one to hear it
The reason I keep quiet
With so much at stake
I always feel like a burden, let it silence me
You'll never understand
Why it's so hard to say

I'll never have the words, I can't explain this hell
But what if it kills me
If I keep it to myself?
To myself

I am not okay
And I need you to see it
I have so much to say
And no one to hear it
I am not okay
I am not okay
I'm never safe
It's not a phase
If I finally break
Would you still stay?

Tonight the monsters in my head
Are screaming so damn loud