Walking in Staten

(Verse 1)

[PETE]

Put on my bootleg Jordans and boarded the train

Touched down in the land of Colin Jost and the legendary Wu-Tang

[BIG WET]

Drive on by the garbage dump so big you could see it from space

[PETE]

Yeah, we got like 80 bagel spots and every block has a pizza place

(Chorus 1)

[PETE AND BIG WET]

And I'm walking in Staten

All the way from Stapleton to Great Kills

Walking in Staten

We've got a lot of cops and a ton of pills

(Verse 2)

[PETE]

Saw the ghost of Robert Loggia and said, "From where do I know you?"

He said, "I was the guy on the piano in Big" and he sparked up a major doob

Security sure did smell him, and thеy said "Who the hell are you?"

[PETE AND BIG WET]

Man, it's Pеte and Wet, and you'd best bet that Marc Cohn's gonna sue

(Spoken)

[MARC]

No, I don't want to be in a parody of my own song. What do you mean, I'm already in it?

(Chorus 2)

[PETE, BIG WET, AND MARC]

And I'm walking in Staten

Is this a pizza place or a bagel place?

Walking in Staten

It's actually a pizza place inside a bagel place

(Bridge)

[MARC]

They've got the Verrazzano Narrows (It's actually pretty wide)

[BIG WET]

They've got Chris the Hobby Guy (Hey, it's Chris and Lisa! Hop in!)

[PETE]

And when you see wild turkeys by the hospital an alarming amount

No one even bats an eye

Man, it's really weird in Staten

[MARC]

I think this strip club used to be a McDonald's

[BIG WET]

And our zoo is shockingly small

[PETE]

Once I saw Method Man hit a hole-in-one

At the Safari Mini-Golf

(Rap)

[METHOD MAN]

Staten Island is where I'm walkin'

Real is what I'm talkin'

Y'all proceed with caution

Don't cross this native New Yorkin'

You know we Empire State

We're devastatin' and awesome

My Yankee hat a statement

And a middle finger to Boston

Not like I'm walkin' in Memphis

Feel it in my britches

Elvis made his little riches

By stealin' from Little Richard

Where I'm from we a little different

We're trappin' and easy passin'

Cross the Verrazzano and welcome to Staten

(Verse 3)

[PETE]

We were drinkin' White Claws and bootlegs

[MARC]

And the cops challenged us to a fight

[PETE]

He said, "Tell me, are you Italian?"

[METHOD MAN]

And I said, "Man, I am tonight."

(Chorus 3)

[ALL]

And I was walking in Staten

This place is the reason I turned out weird

Walking in Staten

[MARC]

And thanks to New Jersey, we now have deer

[ALL]

And we were walking in Staten

Where everybody's dreams go right down the drain

Walking in Staten

Babies here are born with a golden chain

(Spoken Outro)

[PETE]

Wow, look at the ocean, guys. Imagine if we could actually swim in it

[MARC]

What's that out in the water?

[METHOD MAN]

A dead body

[BIG WET]

Great