[Verse 1]
Norman the Mormon hears the doorbell ring
Inside, they're not answering
Peering through the window, to his surprise
The door flies open, "Come inside!"
"I am Jason the Freemason
What you're selling I do not need
Mr. Patrick, orthodox Catholic
Is more likely in your league."
[Verse 2]
At that very moment, Mr. Softee rings his bells, ding-a-ling, ding-a-ling
Quickly thereafter, Choco-Taco delight
Reclining on his brand new mountain bike
Now, watch you most closely, for here the plot does twist
Enter Simon, the super Scientologist
"I'm opining sailing Simon
Is you stupid or is you just high?
Mother Hubbard got me covered
Like Sara Lee on her cherry pie."
Norman says to Simon, "Hey, if there are really aliens
I would think that L. Ron Hubbard would have to be one of them."
Oh, my Lord! Oh, my Lord! Oh, my Lord! Oh My! Oh My! Oh!
[Guitar/Harmonica Solos]
[Bridge]
The Pie Man passes by on his way to the fair and he says
"Reason, won't you?
Put your blue dress on
I said, I said now, reason, won't you?
Put your blue jeans on"
[Verse 3]
At that very moment, Mr. Softee rings his bells
So before Simon could bring his crushing blow
Norman raises his hands, "Oh no, oh no!"
Simon says, "Hey, we ain't even finished this!"
Norman says, "Yes we have. Here come the Witnesses."
[Chorus]
I said, I said, I said now
Reason, won't you?
Put your blue dress on
I said now, reason, won't you?
Put your blue dress on, on, on, on, on
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