[Intro: Eminem]
The devil came to Michigan
[Verse 1: Eminem]
With balls, in his durag, he sags, fearin' no man
He stands, pen in his hand like Edward Scissorhands
Who slices competition and just goes about his business
Anyone who knows about him knows about his shindig
Shenanigans, and all his wacky antics in the papers
Shady's danglin' a baby tangled in a blanket, stranglin'
And hangin' him over the railing by the ankles on some gangster shit
Hailie's name, I'm changin' it to handkerchief
Hell with Shady, Michael is my new alter-ego
That's why you always hear me sayin' "Where the fuck did he go?"
He ain't insane, he's crazy man
Ripping off a baby's pants
Hе prefers them malе 'cause you can say he ain't a ladysman
Yeah, I'm back, more malevolent than I've ever been
Give the kids a medal, quit meddlin' in my storage bin
This is what you wanted, right? A day with Marshall Mathers?
Be on your best behavior, I'll get you a caramel apple
I promise you don't have to fear, yeah
I'm there, here, I'm everywhere, bleh!
All these voices in my head, you'll probably think that I was schitzo
I'm this close, it's so scary, my new alias is–
[Chorus: Eminem & Traci Nelson]
Michael, he's the Antichrist
He will slice and dice children
His name is Michael, he's the Antichrist
He will slice and dice children
[Post-Chorus: Eminem & Traci Nelson]
My brother said my mother left my father
My sister said my mother left my dad
Now we all have a brand new stepfather
Who touches me at night when I'm in bed
[Verse 2: Eminem]
It's winter, as I enter the daycare center
In a disguise, mustache, some fake hair and a three-piece suit
Ready, set to take care of business
Suddenly, I spot the dequent Blair Witches
At the movies, it's a date
Moving undercover in a coat
Ah fuck, I said "don't stare at this, y'all"
So what you gon' do?
This ain't R-rated, that's a joke
Woah, Jack, just stay here, watch how fast I fly, why?
Running down the hall, flippin' the fuckin' deputy off while I pass him by
I get home, set my hand to the side
It's like I got damaged, broke hand and a fuckin' blackened eye
Soon as I get a bandage, I'm back out to find some fucked, jacked up little brat, could cry
I'm not done, he slices and dices
The police don't suffice for the Antichrist
So get your hands up
[Chorus: Eminem & Traci Nelson]
Michael, he's the Antichrist
He will slice and dice children
His name is Michael, he's the Antichrist
He will slice and dice children
[Post-Chorus: Eminem & Traci Nelson]
My brother said my mother left my father
My sister said my mother left my dad
Now we all have a brand new stepfather
Who touches me at night when I'm in bed
[Verse 3: Eminem]
Why can't I slice and dice kids like the Antichrist?
I wish I may, I rant as I might
I tend to ramble off on a little bit of a tangent
**** a little kid in the ass until his pants split
'Till he can't sit, I know the thought's a little rancid
But that's what these little rugrats get
For dancin' and prancin' around in them Spider-Man pajamas
And that's what the cameras outside the master bedroom are for
You sleep on the bed and I'll sleep on the floor
The only one left, that's who I adore
So just don't stretch back, you don't gotta fret, Sam
Or switch to the next cam, so you want the Pokémon bed?
Or the racecar comforter? Whichever one you pick
I'm gonna end up on the covers, then fuck you with the rubber
The Antichrist!
I'm kidding, it's a joke!
Psych!
READ MORE ABOUT EMINEM
