1-833-2GET-REV (REVIVAL Voicemail)

[Automated Voice]

Thank you for your interest in Revival, the number one slightly invasive treatment for Atrox Rithimis. You only get one shot to beat AR. Don't miss your chance with Revival. Please hold to speak with a patient care representative.

While you wait, here's some additional information:

You should discuss the potential benefits and risks of Revival with your doctor or clergyman. Revival is a non-injectable medication given through the ear canal and is not intended for anal use. Revival is a non-narcotic medication intended for daily use that can be taken with or without food.

Tell your doctor about all health conditions, including if you:

Have a history of confusion or poor judgment
Are allergic to tympanic stimulators
Are pregnant or nursing
Revival does not cause serious side effects including:

Fleem's syndrome
Mild to disfiguring acne
Brain problems
Male pattern baldness, most commonly in women
Rage
Decreased appetite
Increased appetite
Seasonal affective disorder
Loose gums
Gluten sensitivity
Toothpain
Tight glutes
General feeling of head trauma
Softening of fingernails
Dramatically increased hair growth
Sudden nut allergies
Ringing in your mouth
and Light-leggedness
Thank you for continuing to hold. We give you some serious fucking credit for sticking with us. Tell your doctor right away if you have any of the following symptoms:

Fever, sweats or chills
Muscle ache
Cough
Shortness of breath
Blood and phlegm
Weight loss
Warm, red, or painful skin or sores on your body
Diarrhea or stomach pain
Burning when you urinate
Chills when you urinate
Urinating more often than normal
Feeling very tired or night sleeping
Revival does not cause you side effects but if you have them you should definitely seek medical attention.