Eminem – If I Had (Radio Edit) (1997) | Track profile | Dork

Eminem – If I Had (Radio Edit) (1997) | Track profile | Dork

Lyrics

If I Had (Radio Edit)

[Intro]

"Life," by Marshall Mathers

What is life?

Life is like a big obstacle in front of your optical to slow you down

And every time you think you've gotten past it

It's gonna come back around to tackle you to the damn ground (If I had a million...)

What are friends?

Friends are people that you think are your friends

But they really your enemies with secret identities

In disguises to hide they true colors

So just when you think you close enough to be brothers

They wanna come back and cut your throat when you ain't lookin'

What is money?

Money is what makes a man act funny, money is the root of all evil

Money'll make them same friends come back around

Swearin' that they was always down

What is life? I'm tired of life

[Verse 1]

I'm tired of backstabbin'-*** snakes with friendly grins

I'm tired of committin' so many sins

Tired of always givin' in when this bottle of Henny wins

Tired of never havin' any ends

Tired of havin' skinny friends hooked on crack and Mini Thins

I'm tired of this DJ playin' your **** when he spins

Tired of not havin' a deal

Tired of havin' to deal with the bull**** without grabbin' the steel

Tired of drownin' in my sorrow

Tired of havin' to borrow a dollar for gas to start my Monte Carlo

I'm tired of mother******* ******** **** and dartin' off

I'm tired of jobs startin' off at $5.50

An hour, then this boss wonders why I'm smartin' off

Tired of bein' fired every time I fart and cough

Tired of havin' to work as a gas station clerk

For this jerk, breathin' down my neck, drivin' me berserk

I'm tired of usin' plastic silverware

Tired of workin' at Builder's Square, tired of not bein' a millionaire

[Chorus]

But if I had a million dollars

I'd buy a damn brewery and turn the planet into alcoholics (If I had a million dollars)

If I had a magic wand

I'd make the world suck my **** without a condom on while I'm on the john (I could set my troubles free)

If I had a million bucks

It wouldn't be enough 'cause I'd still be out robbin' armored trucks (If I had a million dollars)

If I had one wish

I would ask for a big enough *** for the whole world to kiss

[Verse 2]

I'm tired of bein' white trash, broke, and always poor

Tired of takin' pop bottles back to the party store

Tired of not havin' a phone

Tired of not havin' a home to have one in if I did have one on

Tired of not drivin' a BM

Tired of not workin' at GM, tired of wantin' to be him

Tired of not sleepin' without a Tylenol PM

Tired of not performin' in a packed coliseum

Tired of not bein' on tour

Tired of ******* the same blonde ***** after work in the back of a Contour

I'm tired of fakin' knots with a stack of ones

Havin' a lack of funds and resortin' back to ****

Tired of bein' stared at

Tired of wearin' the same damn Nike Air hat

Tired of steppin' in clubs, wearin' the same pair of Lugz

Tired of people sayin' they're tired of hearin' me rap about *****

Tired of other rappers who ain't bringin' half the skill as me

Sayin' they wasn't feelin' me on "Nobody's As Ill As Me"

And I'm tired of radio stations tellin' fibs

Tired of JLB sayin', "Where hip-hop lives" (Where hip-hop lives)

[Chorus]

But if I had a million dollars

I'd buy a damn brewery and turn the planet into alcoholics (If I had a million dollars)

If I had a magic wand

I'd make the world suck my **** without a condom on while I'm on the john (I would set my troubles free)

If I had a million bucks

It wouldn't be enough 'cause I'd still be out robbin' armored trucks (If I had a million dollars)

If I had one wish

I would ask for a big enough *** for the whole world to kiss

[Outro]

You know what I'm sayin'?

I'm tired of all of this bull**** (If I had a million dollars)

Tellin' me to be positive, how am I 'posed to be positive

When I don't see **** positive? You know what I'm sayin'?

I rap about **** around me, **** I see

(If I had a million dollars) You know what I'm sayin'? Right now, I'm tired of everything

Tired of all this player-hatin' that's goin' on in my own city

(You could share my wealth with me) Can't get no airplay, you know what I'm sayin'?

But hey, it's cool though

(If I had a million dollars) you know what I'm sayin'? I'm just fed up

That's my word (I could set my troubles free

If I had a million dollars)

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