Dirty Glasses

[Verse 1]

Well, Margaret Thatcher

She had very dirty glasses

You should have seen how

Dirty her glasses were

She couldn't even see the world

And little Freddie Hayek

He had very dirty glasses

Unbelievably dirty glasses

[Refrain 1]

And when I went to dinner with Margaret Thatcher and Freddie Hayek

At their house, the other week

Well I went into the kitchen and I opened up one of the cabinets

And I could not believe how dirty her glasses were

It was disgusting

[Verse 2]

Well, they say that we might all have dirty glasses

Like they said, Trojan horse would be forgotten

But we represent a different platform

Dispossessed pinko middle classes

Who have very dirty glasses

And anyone else who has very dirty glasses

Y’see, the purpose of this band

Is to offer a glasses cleaning service

At a very reasonable price

So if you have dirty glasses

You can bring them to the front

And we'll clean them for you

And we'll do the very best job

Y’know, we really do the very best job

That we can

[Refrain 2]

At this point the audience

In this fictional performance

Goes home and fetches their glassware

And brings it back to the pub

And hands their dirty glasses to the band

And the band cleans that dirty glasses

And then there's a standing ovation

Well, hey!

[Bridge]

Now finally you can relax in your cool greenhouse

Your clean cool green greenhouse

As you enjoy your new favourite least favourite band

Well, of course, The Cool Greenhouse

And you know these days there's an authentic need

For an authentic counterculture

But unfortunately, there's just The Cool Greenhouse

With their cool glasses

[Outro]

Well poor old dead Fidel

Y'know, he had pretty clean glasses at the beginning

But even he had pretty dirty glasses

Towards the end

Which is where we're at

The end