London

Well I sold all of my records to move to London

I had too much scenery around me, and my feet they had an itch on

Arrived January 3rd, pollution limits already broken

Went round the old tower, even looked at the dungeon

Made a million in the city to get a drink, could just afford one

Then looked around for a flat, but it turns out they're already taken

By ex-KGB assassins who are always on vacation

And the pigeons look at me funny, and the pavements give me a hard-on

Well now I'm living in this town

There's too many green parakeets in this town

Yes now I'm living in this town

And it costs a fortune to move around

One good thing about this city is there's no shortage of good coffee

Well you can even get a croissant with it, oh, for only £13.50

Found a cardboard box in Hackney, just a grand and a half monthly

Well I can only fit my head in it, but bollocks to the rest of me

Well the music's going okay, but the guy on after sounds just like me

Well thank God there are basically no hippies, unlike back in the country

And whilst riding on the Orange Line, y'know I noticed some sort of conspiracy

Well two dozen Swedish foxes were staring right at me

And now I'm living in this town

There's too many artisanal pies in this town

Yes now I'm living in this town

And the foxes at night, they drive me insane

Well now I'm six months in, I'm setting up a start-up bakery

Y'know we only use flour that's been puked on by a baby

But for heaven's sake don't ask me, well, what happened to the family

Who used to occupy this space before my nice bread factory?

'Cause I'm just trying to satisfy the need for exquisite toast and honey

And if you pay for it through your nose, well we'll even give you some free toffee

I'm getting used to the air here, can feel it shaving the years off me

But sometimes I get a sinking feeling like there's a great evil above me

Because they're gonna price you out too

Yeah they're coming for you

Well maybe try your luck in Margate

Or in Glasgow

And now I'm living in this town

And the chicken shops, they prop it up

Yes now I'm living in this town

And the way we live, you couldn't make it up

Yes now I'm living in this town

I think I'd better join a gym

If I'm gonna stick around