Shopping Centre

[Skit]

Mate, have you been in Tunbridge Wells precinct lately? It's so fucking depressing, and I'm quite a positive guy. There's like nowhere to eat, loads of shops are shut, like you don't literally bump into anyone. Just in Tunbridge Wells now, mate, just running into Five Guys. Um, what are you up to, mate? I thought I could say hello. I'm thinking of you and I'm loving you loads. Merry Christm— merry Christmas, merry Chrysler

[Intro]

Yeah, yeah

This one's called the "Shopping Centre"

Oi

[Verse 1]

The shopping centre's bleak, it ain't what it usеd to be

Mark my words, by 2023 this place is gonna be

A distribution cеntre for Amazon delivery

It's a grim outlook, but that's the way things are going

It's happening rapidly, showing no signs of slowing

There goes another one and another one

Once I got a four month ban for nicking bubble gum

[Refrain]

True stories

But I feel sorry for the security guards now, d'you know what I mean like?

When we were younger, this place was fucking buzzing

But now

[Verse 2]

This town is 'coming like a ghost town

Every day another shop's getting closed down

Slow down, if you blink you might miss it

I love this town, but I'm the first to admit it

It's so dead, like R.I.P

Here lie the remains of the RVP (What?)

Coming soon, doom and gloom

Brought to you in part by Amazon delivery

[Refrain]

You already said that, mate

I know I did, mate, but it's true, like, look around

Are you trying to tell me this isn't part of a bigger plan?

You're paranoid, mate

I'm not paranoid

[Verse 3]

I'm hungry, yeah, my tummy's rumbling

Saloon doors swinging and tumbleweeds tumbling

It's got me wondering, the people need answers

What have you done with the golden arches?

What have you done with Kentucky Fried?

I don't eat that shit, but I dug the vibe

I mean fuck, I'd even go for a Spud-u-like

What the fuck am I talking about?

[Refrain]

Anyway, that was my tune about the RVP

The Royal Victoria Place, there's one in every town

Wait, one last thing

[Verse 4]

Long live the RVP, long live the RVP

Everybody say

Long live the RVP, long live the RVP

Sports Direct still holding it down

Clinton Cards, yeah, that shop goes hard

Everybody loves a Pandora bracelet

Christmas is just round the corner

What'll be next? Will it be next?

On your last dime you can bet

The iStore ain't going nowhere

The iStore ain't going nowhere

In the front door, out the back

Pharmaceutical, drugs and that

[Outro]

Boots ain't going nowhere

Boots ain't going nowhere

Boots ain't going nowhere

Boots ain't going nowhere

Boots ain't going nowhere

Boots ain't going nowhere