dopesick

[Verse 1]

And I've been on my hands and knees searching for the pills I threw

Over the back wall when I swore that I was through

And I meant it then

Nah, I really did

But fuck, it doesn't really matter when you feel like this

Cold sweats, got the chills, feeling nauseated

Until I get that in my system, I can't operate it

Fell off the wagon off the planet somewhere off in space

When orbiting my problems they don't look so bad from here, I'm staying

You keep saying that "It's killing you" like I don't see

Just wasting time, I'm praying to a God I don't believe

And I just hope that you don't ever have to feel the way it feels

When I decide to use 'cause I hate being alone with me

And every time, I keep running through this tape

To the end, like I know where this goes, but pretend

That it won't this time

Yeah, it's different, I'm in control

I've got it handled

When I need some help I'll let you know

But I don't, I just let it pull me further south

Getting faded, talking dreams but never leave the couch

Never found a purpose, don't know what I hope to be

But swore that I was born to be more than some oxytocin fiend

And I've been falling down 12 steps

Rehabilitated twice, it didn't stick I guess

Doctors think that they can fix me up with all those meds

Maybe I just got some problems now that y'all don't get

[PreChorus]

It's like I'm wading in the ocean

Staring in the distance, I can't see where the shore is

Crossed the line but I don't know when I did

And I swear I wanna quit but I don't wanna stop, I'm just—

[Hook]

Dopesick

(Goes up then you come back down)

Woke up feeling hopeless

(I reach out but you're not around)

I'm just dopesick

(Goes up then you come back down)

I woke up feeling hopeless

(I reach out but you're not around)

Yeah

[Verse 2]

And I'm in a meeting talkin', I ain't touched the pills in weeks

Like what's the point when I know heroine is twice as cheap

Twice as good and it'll take me down twice as low

Prolly kill me twice as fast but lately I've been feeling so

Bad that I welcome it, hurtin' me but helpin' and

The only fuckin' people that I see are ones who sell me it

I tried to give it up, I swore it off forever

But what's the point of sober if your life ain't gettin' better, huh?

The more that you ask, the more I withdraw, yeah

The more that I do, the worse the withdrawals get

The worse the withdrawals, the harder to stop that

And mom asks, "Why the hell you ain't call back?"

Yeah, up on the phone and the soul too

Sick of people lookin' at me saying "I don't know you"

They keep on talkin' but I'm barely even hearing them and

Even when I brush the teeth I don't look in the mirror 'cause

I can see the truth that's in the eyes

That's a window to the feelings that I keep disguised

Hard to differentiate with all the lies

Manufactured in my head just to keep the actions justified

[PreChorus]

It's like I'm wading in the ocean

So far out that I can't see where the shore went

And I can't live like this

Swear I wanna quit, but I just can't stop

I'm so—

[Hook]

Dopesick

(Goes up then you come back down)

Woke up feeling hopeless

(I reach out but you're not around)

I'm just dopesick

(Goes up then you come back down)

Woke up feeling hopeless

(I reach out but you're not around)

Yeah