Alcopollack

[Verse 1: Eric Melvin & Fat Mike]

How does the drunkest person on the bus

Wake up and manage to take such good care of us?

An honorable man that's impossible to hate

Even though his laugh to joke ratio is about one in eight

[Pre-Chorus: Eric Melvin & Fat Mike]

What is it about him?

What sets him apart?

How does such a tiny person have such a big heart?

He only sometimes drops the ball

Like the six times he told the bus to leave

When one of us was at a petrol station

Shitting in a bathroom stall

[Pre-Chorus: Eric Melvin & Fat Mike]

That's David Pollack

Alcoholic

Real dedication

To inebriation

My friend David

Master of Kung-Fu

We're all singing this song just to say thank you

And one day we're gonna get you back

[Verse 2: Eric Melvin & Fat Mike]

He's not a giant man

But he represents some giant voices

But sometimes Alcopollack doesn't make the greatest choices

He might excel in tours and food

But he lacks something in tact

He told Dexter that his band sucks

And he called Matt Freeman fat

[Pre-Chorus: Fat Mike]

He pissed off Graffin and insulted Tré Cool's first wife and fiancée

That's how he lost Bad Religion, The Offspring

Rancid, Pennywise, the Mad Caddies, Rise Against

But the one that hurt the most must have been Green Day

[Chorus: Eric Melvin & Fat Mike]

That's Alcopollack

Philanthro-folic

Grappa all nighter

Bar fight inciter

My friend David

For all your dedication

This song is for you

To show all our appreciation

But why do you always have to be on vacation?