The Dearly Beloved

And on a cycle I sit
Drinking myself sick
To feel the slightest bit of happiness
To have everything I want to forget
Sink

Anything to numb the pain
Anything to face away
What more did you want from me?
You took everything, and made this love violent
What could I have said?
I just drowned in the silence

A love made violent
And I was built to lose
There's no beauty in destruction
There's just salt in my wounds

A love made violent
And I was built to lose
There's no beauty in destruction
There's fucking salt in my wounds

And on a cycle I sit
As I peel back this skin
Resisting the urge to get my revenge
Cross my heart as I'm dying inside
How did it feel when you twisted the knife?

How did it feel?

How did it feel?

A recipe for disaster
My body in bloom
This growing resentment is all reserved for you
I anticipate the worst to come
So much I never speak of
This carousal never stops
Exhaustion will strangle me 'til my body drops

Dearly beloved
You've marked me with your rage
The light has left my eyes
As they turned from green to grey
Suffocating underneath
The anger you displaced onto me
It was hard to leave
It was hard to stay
In this space between you and me

I just want peace
I just want to sleep
Sedate me so I can't feel anything
I want to feel anything other than this