Suddenly Everything Changed

I stay awake at night, stuttering to speak the words

Of a feeling I can no longer find

All the pain that I’m holding on

Self inflict for a bit like it makes me strong

Am I wrong? Not enough for your love

I used to crave attention

Now I’ve grown used to loneliness

Cause I can’t break my own heart

& I refuse to let you do it again

My dichotomy sits between happiness & suffering

This illness enervates my cheeks, drains them of their coloring

Sometimes I bloom & then I wither

My lungs collapse, pneumonia, it blisters

All I ever wanted was reprieve from these aches

From feeling drained, from the sadness I can’t satiate

What’s left of us? Can you answer with honesty?

I resent you too much for you to be happy with me

I’m hanging on the truth, it’s at the tip of my tongue

I tried to feel something, but I’ve just grown numb

I fear to hurt again, I’m afraid to let you in

I lost myself that first time and I haven’t been the same since

Am I a fool for you, or have I just been comfortable with abuse?

[CADE ARMSTRONG]

I’m a hostage in my head

Cut so deep from the words you’ve said

I can’t find relief

Searching for reprieve

Am I a fool for you? Or have I just been comfortable with abuse?

I can’t find relief

Searching for reprieve