Here Come the Choppers

Up there over Wilshire the whirly-birds zoom

Above the El Rey, circling the Conga Room

They turn on the lights, pull out the stoppers

Get off the streets now, here come the choppers

Here come the choppers, just when we thought

We were safe in our houses and we couldn’t get caught

The choppers are back, they were gone for a while

But now we’re under attack in the Miracle Mile

We’re together alone and there’s nowhere to go

We live in a war zone on Museum Row

No, this is no game of robbers and coppers

Hide under your lemon trees, here come the choppers

Read us our rights, we’re the criminal faction

Hit by the lights and caught in the action

Our entire performance is captured on tape

Knocking over our garbage as we try to escape

They’re strafing Ralph’s, attention shoppers

Get out of the store now, here come the choppers

Don’t bother with paper, take a black plastic bag

They’re buzzing Koo-Koo-Roo Chicken, hovering over SAG

Just when you hope that they might call it quits

The choppers turn toward the La Brea Tar Pits

One saber-tooth sculpture snarls at the sky

The mammoth made of stone seems ready to die

So many sorties, look out below

Staples, Blockbuster, and Office Depot

Their sights set on Sav-On, surveying Rite-Aid

At Mo’ Better Meaty Meat Burgers, be very afraid

North to the Grove, West to Fairfax

At Dupar’s duck and cover, here come the attacks

The inspectors found nothing – that’s just not right –

Whole Foods and K-Mart are targets tonight

The Meridian Health Club has hidden machines

Of torture, it will be blown to smithereens

Some will maimed, some will be killed

One smart bomb takes out the whole Writer’s Guild

The tramp camped on Curson lives in his dream

From his Ralph’s shopping cart he heads his regime

But his days are numbered, for in a short while

His ouster takes place from the Miracle Mile

Now it’s getting quiet, do you feel the calm?

Remember those movies they made about ‘Nam?

Could this be the end, this latest attack?

I hear the choppers now, they’re coming back