My Biggest Fan

My biggest fan is a four hundred pound man

Who knows how many stone hang onto his bones

And you ask how come, but hey, look

His mother was a professional cook

When he was one his father took off

It was a trauma that he never shook off

He was dealt that hand -

My biggest fan

After the show fans say thanks and hello

They proffer something to sign

Or deliver a glib line

And you know there's never any escape

From the fan who wants to give you his tape

But when no other knows how it's all done

In the dressing room there remains but one

And it's my main man -

My biggest fan

Some fans Harrison-stalk - the big guy likes to talk

He knows every song, what's been good and gone wrong

He knows the story of my whole cheesy life

The name of each kid, ex-girlfriend, and wife

Every label that I've even been on

Yes, he's obsessed, he doesn't fawn

He understand -

My biggest fan

Most fans are average guys and gals

Anxious to be your bosom pal

For a night or just an hour

For a bite or some kind of shower

They got a plan -

You understand

My fan is so large he's a one man entourage

There's much more there to him than Tom, Dick, Harry, or Jim

Oh, if you want to know just how big

A fan he is, he comes to every gig

Sometimes I sell out - hey man, that's no sin

Somehow my fan always manages to squeeze in

And is happy to stand -

He's still my biggest fan

But the biggest surprise, aside from his size

Is just how he can move when it comes to show biz

In the triumvirate I count a top three

Yeah, there's Bob, then there's Neil, then there's me

Naturally Bob's number one

Yeah, the runner up, that's Mr. Young

I'm number three in command -

But he's still my biggest fan

Yeah, I'm his third man -

But he's still my biggest fan