She's Nubs

It's kind of hard to wear high heels

Or slip on banana peels

How does she get in and out of tubs?

I hope she don't get mad

I hope she thinks this song is good not bad

Cause we think that she's totally rad, she's Nubs

No fingers, no toes, she doesn't own elbows

No phalanges, no knobby knees to knock

She don't need knuckles or hands to go see punk rock bands

She's always in the stands, she's Nubs

She can't pick up a phone, she can't get dressed alone

She's got no funny bone, she's Nubs

No shoes for feet but we sure do think she's neat

She's Nubs, she's Nubs, she's Nubs

I asked her if she want a drink

I asked her if she liked Toronto

I asked her to go out to the bar

But all she said was no thanks, no, and no

It was time for us to leave, so I grabbed and shook her sleeve

And told her I'd see her at the next club

She got into a pack, some guy put her on his back

She said goodbye and kinda waved her stub

She's got beautiful eyes and breasts regular size

But without calves and thighs, she's Nubs

It's hard to give good head or get tied to a bed

When all you've got is a body and head, she's Nubs

She's Nubs, she's Nubs, she's Nubs

Oh she may not walk the walk

And she may not like to talk

But boy she sure knows how to rock, she's Nubs!