Now Everybody's Me

Now Everybody's Me

Rodney: Joe, shut up!

Everybody hates Edie Brickell

All my favourite shows are on TV

All the restaurants serve my favourite food

'Cause now everybody's me

Now my apartment's really crowded

'Cause I live there and I'm everybody

And everybody's sleeping with my girl

But, hey, everybody's me

Now everybody's me (x4)

Everybody's watching Married with Children

Everybody's into bestiality

The stores stopped selling Amstel light

'Cause now everybody's me

Everybody loves Charles Manson

Everybody wants to set him free

And everybody's on the parole board

'Cause now everybody's me

Now everybody's me (x4)

I had to put an end to war

Didn't make much sense to shoot at myself

No more Christians, Jews, Muslims or Amway salesmen

Just a whole planet of TV addicts

Everybody's got hairy feet

Everybody follows my philosophy

Everybody's got a nephew named Jeff

'Cause now everybody's me

They had to lower all the basketball nets

'Cause everybody's only 5 foot 3

And everybody likes to dress like a monkey

'Cause now everybody's me

Now everybody's me (x4)

Now everybody's into what I do

Steve Albini, John? and Frank Sinatra sound exactly like me

I even set up a duo with Julio Iglesias

It was called Me and Julio Down By the Crackhouse

'Cause even Julio Iglesias is me

I have the number one album

I have all the albums

'Cause now everybody's me!

+ (1:59) (untitled)

--------------------------

Now, I understand that some of you don't know Sarah Jane, so I'll tell

You a little bit about her. She's a lesbian Eskimo midget albino. She

Went to college and she started the Lesbian midget Eskimo Albino

Student Union, and four hundred people signed up. There they were

Hundreds of 'em, lesbian midget left-handed Eskimo albinos. Did I

Mention the fact that she's left-handed? She's left-handed, alright

Girl's got some strange hobbies. One of her hobbies is lowering children

Into open manholes, which is kinda difficult 'cause a lot of the

Children are taller than her, her being a midget and everything... or

Her being a left-handed midget... or her being a left-handed lesbian

Midget... or her being a left-handed lesbian albino midget... or her

Being a lesbian left-handed albino midget Eskimo... life can be really

Difficult on that young lady

She bit me once, you know. Right here, ya see this? Left a mark. She was

Lowerin' a friend of mine's kid into the sewer, I run up, and tried to

Stop her. I said, "Listen there, you lesbian midget left-handed albino!

And you stop right there!" Then she bit me. I'm afraid I'm gonna... I'm

Gonna turn into a lesbian left-handed midget albino when the moon is

Full

Oh my God, the moon is full tonight! I can feel myself shrinking! I can

Feel myself getting left-handed! I can feel myself getting the urge to

Build an igloo! I can feel my skin turning white and my eyes getting

Red! I can feel... I can feel the urge... to buy a Suzanne Vega album!!

NOOO! NNNNNOOOO!!!!

NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

Oh, I'm okay; it was just gas