Smokey Mountain Rattlesnake Retreat

Well me and Doris went on vacation

We decided we needed more than recreation

So we enrolled in a Bible camp retreat

I got the directions and we took off

It only took six hours to get completely lost

Way back up in the mountains of east Tennessee

Well it was getting real dark and I was starting to fret

Doris said, look yonder bet that's it

She pointed to the lights to this little church way back in the bush

An old man met us, I said just two

He escorted us down to the very first pew

I said Doris I don't think this is the right place, she just said hush

Well they preached some sermons and sang some songs

Then they preached some more and went on and on

Nearly wore me out I'd had about all I could take

Then they pulled down the shades and things quieted down

This guy next to me punched me said, here pass this down

I turned to look and son of a gun he handed me a snake

Oh the night that me and Doris

Went running through the forest

Way back up in the hills of Tennessee

Yeah we started making tracks

When they broke out that diamond back

It scared the devil out of poor old Doris and me

He said take it man don't you believe

I said I believe all right I believe I'll leave

And I reached for Doris but she done fainted away white as a sheet

Now I couldn't pick her up, and I couldn't find the door

And them rattlers were crawling all around the floor

And friends that's when the spirit hit my feet

I started running down the aisles and bouncing off the walls

Like somebody teed off a new golf ball

In a tiled bathroom friends I mean I was moving on

I'd run past Doris every minute or two

Trying to shake her awake her but it wasn't no use

For a while there I thought the Lord had called the poor thing home

Then somebody dropped a big one in her lap

Doris come too and something in her snapped

She grabbed that thing by the tail, commenced swinging it around her head

Then she gave it a crack like LashLaRue

The head came off and sailed across the room

Then she did a tap dance on the rest of them suckers till they was all dead

Well I grabbed her by the hand and we headed for the car

When she hollered to the preacher, I don't know who you are

Or where you came from or how you ever learn how to preach

But let me tell you something you old raggedy cat

You don't know nothing about running a Bible Camp

And me and my husband are on our way to Daytona Beach

Oh the night that me and Doris

Went running through the forest

Way back up in the hills of Tennessee

Yeah we started making tracks

When they broke out that diamond back

It sure scared the devil out of poor old Doris and me

Oh the night that me and Doris

Went running through the forest

Way back up in the hills of Tennessee

Yeah we started making tracks

When they broke out that diamond back

It sure scared the devil out of poor old Doris and me