The Preacher and the Bear

Well, the preacher went out walkin', it was on one Sunday morn

It was against his religion, but he took his gun along

Shot himself some mighty fine quail and one little measly hare

And on his way returning home, he met a great big grizzly bear

Well, the bear got down in the middle of the road

On all fours like a great big toad

Looked that preacher right square in the eye

The preacher said "hello" and "bye-bye"

Down the road, the preacher did run

The bear right after that preacher did come

He ran and he ran for about a mile

Then they both sat down and rested a while

Preacher got up, started running again

So did the bear, and he was gaining on him

He ran and he ran 'til he spotted a tree

Said, "Up on a limb is the place to be"

The bear got close, made a grab for him

But the preacher leaped up and he made the land

Pulled himself up and turned about

Cast his eyes to the heavens and he did shout

Oh Lord (Oh Lord), you delivered Daniel from the lion's den

(From the lion's den)

Oh Lord (Oh Lord), you delivered Jonah from the belly of the whale and then

(And then)

The Hebrew children from the fiery furnace so the good book does declare

So Lord (Oh Lord), if you can't help me

For goodness sakes, don't help that bear

Well, about that time, that limb let go and the preacher came tumblin' down

Pulled a straight razor out of his pocket just before he hit the ground

And what happened next, I do declare, was a truly historical fight

Between the preacher and the bear in the road right there with the fur flyin' left and right

Well, the preacher and the bear went round and round

First they were up and then they were down

The bear, he roared, and the preacher, he groaned

And it looked like the preacher was holdin' his own

He said, "Lord, if I get out of here alive

The good book, I will abide

No more huntin' on the Sabbath day

Come Sunday, I'm headin' to church to pray

And then to the heavens, the preacher glanced

He said, "Lord, won't you give me just one more chance?"

Then his suspenders gave away

And he knocked that bear ten feet away

The preacher got up and made a bound

For the tree where he'd be safe and sound

Pulled himself up and turned about

Looked up to the sky and began to shout

Oh Lord (Oh Lord), you delivered Daniel from the lion's den

(From the lion's den)

Oh Lord (Oh Lord), you delivered Jonah from the belly of the whale and then

(And then)

The Hebrew children from the fiery furnace so the good book does declare

So Lord (Oh Lord), if you can't help me

For goodness sakes, don't help that bear

For goodness sakes, don't help that bear