Crystal Fortress

DAVEY: Mmm. French fries

OTHER GUY: Mmm. Yeah, they're good. Gee, Davey, Strong Bad always seems so hostile. I bet he doesn't even know how much everybody loves him

DAVEY: Nope, nope. I don't think so either

OTHER GUY: Nope

DAVEY: I've written a song I think'll make Strong Bad understand

OTHER GUY: Oh?

DAVEY: I'm gonna sing it

STRONG BAD: {spoken} Uh-huh. I already don't like the sound of this one. {sarcastically} Ohh, vomit-inducing! My favorite!

STAVE: {singing throughout} Come down from your crystal fortress, oh Strong Bad

STRONG BAD: What?

STAVE: A unicorn awaits at a rainbow bridge

STRONG BAD: Unicorns?! Who a–who are you?

STAVE: Her head is bowed and a tiny tear traces these words in the dеw

STRONG BAD: All right, you whiny weasels

STAVE: Pleasе come down from your crystal fortress

OTHER SINGER: {singing back up vocals throughout} Strong Bad

STAVE: Please come down from your crystal fortress

STRONG BAD: {singing} Shut up

OTHER SINGER: {simultaneously} Strong Bad

STAVE: Please come down from your crystal fortress

STRONG BAD: {screamed} Throw me a squeedley guitar!

STRONG BAD: {electric guitar music} Let me tell ya

STRONG BAD: You get French fries, and you get French fries, but you don't get French fries

STRONG BAD: That's right! You get French fries, and you get French fries, but you don't get no French fries

OTHER SINGER: {simultaneously, heavy metal style screaming} You don't get french friiies. You get french friiiiies! They Might be Giiiants, gets no french friiies! Yeeah-ah yeah-ah yeah ah!

STRONG BAD: You get the French fries, and you get the French fries, but you don't get French fries!

STRONG BAD: Ohh!

STRONG BAD: Ahh!

STAVE: Unchain your trembling hopes and dreams, oh Strong Bad

STRONG BAD: Awwwwwwww! I thought you were done

STAVE: The love you deny is the key that will melt the lock

STRONG BAD: I'll melt your face!

STAVE: Our golden shining spirits

STRONG BAD: Eww!

STAVE: will all join hands and sing

STAVE: Please come down from your crystal fortress

OTHER SINGER: Strong Bad

STRONG BAD: No

STAVE: Please come down from your crystal fortress

OTHER SINGER: Strong Bad

STRONG BAD: I'm not coming down from no place

STAVE: Please come down from your crystal fortress

OTHER SINGER: Strong Bad

THIRD SINGER: Strong Bad

STRONG BAD: {singing} Shut up... you stupid hippie

STRONG BAD: {spoken} I'm-a gonna throw a brick at your cellist

{A crash is heard, with the sound of a piano being broken}